08.21.08 
Observations, Politics no comments
Global cooling is really coming through for us this summer, at least for those of us on the USA’s east coast. Low 80’s and no humidity in August—it couldn’t be better! Yet again Al Gore is proven the sage. Previously I advocated reducing my global foot print by shortening words, which would therefore reduce the excretion of carbon dioxide when talking. Now, I am seriously reconsidering my view. This change of heart is do to the most excellent outcome (global cooling) from a world that has continually increased, and shows no sign of slowing, its carbon dioxide output. For those listening I am now advocating leaving your car on even when you don’t need to use it (24 hours a day if possible).
Do you have any suggestions of other things we can do to increase our carbon footprint?
07.02.08 Observations 7 comments
Have you ever noticed that the jock must always draw life analogies from sports? Every story, life lesson, or “deep” thought (if this is possible) must have some sports metaphor, of which they must make us aware. A friend of mine when writing about a best selling author was unable to resist this intellectual crutch and wrote the following:
He gives up more ground than the 2006 Indianapolis Colts defense (seventh worst all time) and uses more misdirection than an option offense.
We’ve all heard these types of stupid analogies used in the work place:
- Keep the ball moving
- There’s no “I” in “team”
- That’s a slam-dunk
- Lets touch base
Can you think of any other stupid sports analogies?
06.06.08 Culture, Observations 5 comments
The following is one of my worthless thoughts from January 9th, 1986 on the topic of lying:
“I think you should lie for a good reason, otherwise I think it is bad.”
Deep, I know. Not sure much has changed since then. Oh, well.
05.20.08 Culture, Observations 2 comments
An ode to the guy eating and hands-free:
Hey you, with that thing in your ear,
what are you, one of those who are queer*?
The kind of guy who is really distinct
who will one day be extinct.
Yes, your kind will no longer exist
except in the memory of a satirist.
You may think this rather profane
but someday there’ll be an implant in your brain.
Your connected state is obtuse;
that thing in your ear is abuse.
Take it off! You’re not that monumental
if taken as such it’s probably accidental.
So mister antenna ear
you are extensively queer*.
But please I want you to know
that I am quite sincere:
Take it off!
*Used in the traditional sense of the word, of course (adj. - odd; strange). Gees chill out.
04.12.08 Culture, Observations 5 comments
American Idol is dead. After much questioning, doubting, and discovery I have definitively found that American Idol is not something credible enough to believe in. Previously, I had only advocated that this “supreme being” of a show be “wiped from the earth and all our memories“. However, I am now convinced by the sheer improbability of AI as this “supreme being” has lead me to be an AItheist. That is, I don’t believe in the goodness, benefits of, and refuse to acknowledge the possibility that AI is worthy of my faith or belief.
Briefly here are some benefits that my AItheism affords (more to follow as I am still discovering them):
- I can do whatever I want with my time (during the regularly scheduled program hours)
- I can move beyond the trappings of mediocracy and listen to true musical works of art
- I am free from entering conversations about AI and wondering if I am right or wrong
You may say to me, “Why abandon such long standing traditions, tried and tested beliefs, and the proven existence of this ’supreme being’?” Well the burden of proof is on you… you show me the facts and I may yet believe. I don’t want to hear, “So many people believe it, it must be true.” This does not prove anything except that many people live under The American Idol Delusion.
If you happen to escape this delusion and can add to my list of benefits. Please share them by leaving them in a comment.
03.29.08 Culture 1 comment
By way of showing my support for the stupendous effort to save the world from certain doom, that is Earth Hour, I will not post anything between 8:00pm - 9:00pm EST. Sorry for the inconvenience but this cause is just too important to me… I wanted to go black, like google, but black just isn’t my look.
