just another worthless blog blog rebellion punk blognation 06.06.08 Culture, Observations 5 comments
The following is one of my worthless thoughts from January 9th, 1986 on the topic of lying:
“I think you should lie for a good reason, otherwise I think it is bad.”
Deep, I know. Not sure much has changed since then. Oh, well.
05.20.08 Culture, Observations 2 comments
An ode to the guy eating and hands-free:
Hey you, with that thing in your ear,
what are you, one of those who are queer*?
The kind of guy who is really distinct
who will one day be extinct.
Yes, your kind will no longer exist
except in the memory of a satirist.
You may think this rather profane
but someday there’ll be an implant in your brain.
Your connected state is obtuse;
that thing in your ear is abuse.
Take it off! You’re not that monumental
if taken as such it’s probably accidental.
So mister antenna ear
you are extensively queer*.
But please I want you to know
that I am quite sincere:
Take it off!
*Used in the traditional sense of the word, of course (adj. - odd; strange). Gees chill out.
04.12.08 Culture, Observations 4 comments
American Idol is dead. After much questioning, doubting, and discovery I have definitively found that American Idol is not something credible enough to believe in. Previously, I had only advocated that this “supreme being” of a show be “wiped from the earth and all our memories“. However, I am now convinced by the sheer improbability of AI as this “supreme being” has lead me to be an AItheist. That is, I don’t believe in the goodness, benefits of, and refuse to acknowledge the possibility that AI is worthy of my faith or belief.
Briefly here are some benefits that my AItheism affords (more to follow as I am still discovering them):
You may say to me, “Why abandon such long standing traditions, tried and tested beliefs, and the proven existence of this ’supreme being’?” Well the burden of proof is on you… you show me the facts and I may yet believe. I don’t want to hear, “So many people believe it, it must be true.” This does not prove anything except that many people live under The American Idol Delusion.
If you happen to escape this delusion and can add to my list of benefits. Please share them by leaving them in a comment.
By way of showing my support for the stupendous effort to save the world from certain doom, that is Earth Hour, I will not post anything between 8:00pm - 9:00pm EST. Sorry for the inconvenience but this cause is just too important to me… I wanted to go black, like google, but black just isn’t my look.
02.04.08 Culture, Observations 3 comments
My favorite part of Superbowl forty-three was the evil villain, maintaining character, leaving the stage before the end of the show. Seriously the NFL could not have scripted the season any better… it was like a Disney movie and the WWF rolled into one. Early on in the show the audience was given reason to despise the villain with their blatant, unremorseful cheating. This only built up as the wicked, arrogant antagonist progressed in their triumph over “good” and thus were hated more by the audience. Then when it looks like the villain would achieve world domination spewing their taunts of “we’re the best ever,” along comes a glimmer of hope, the “underdog”. The protagonist that everyone can get behind and root for. Slowly against all odds the little engine that could climbs the mountain. The final battle, choreographed with precision, provides close tension; at times giving a slight upper hand to either side. Then at the last possible second the “good guys” defeat the villain with slow-motion, bravery and strength (breaking free from tackles and magical catches).
Come on NFL give me some plot twists or witty dialog next time.
01.27.08 Culture, Observations 8 comments
The other night I saw the movie There Will Be Blood with a bunch of guys. The response to the movie was almost more enjoyable then the movie itself. You see the group that I frequent with is a mix of jocks & non-jocks (or should I say those who choose to grow up leave playing competitive sports, the mindset of a sports player, and identifying with professional players behind along with their youth). These who live in the past, identify with childish things, and limit cognitive thought to: “Blue forty-two, hut, hut, hut, hike” have little to no appreciation for art. As a result the typical childish evaluation of art commences after watching such a movie as There Will Be Blood. Tirades, in the like of: “That was the worst movie ever”, “I wish I had the last three hours of my life back”, and “Auuuuggggggh”; along with storming out of the theater (as if to communicate utter disgust) were typical of this group of self-identifying jocks. The brilliance of the movie, to me, is that these “authorities” on art were somehow compelled to stay in their seats until the conclusion of the film. I heard a few flimsy excuses for this, but most revolved around, “The music made it seem like something was going to happen” or “I kept expecting something bad to happen.”… ummmm, childish jockery at best.
By the way you’re all invited to watch the superbowl on my big ten foot projection screen in HD surround sound at my house… bring some snacks. I’m really hoping Bret Farve can pull this thing off.
01.07.08 Culture 8 comments
Everybody likes to make new years resolutions for themselves, which more often then not are unachievable. Things like: weight lose, quit smoking, eat healthy, be nice to others, etc. All of these are either extremely hard or self-focused. Myself, I wanted to make a resolution that is both attainable & would not just benefit me but the whole world. So I have resolved in twenty-o-eight to find definitive proof of popular “mythical creatures.” The easter bunny will be first on my list. When spring rolls around there is plenty of evidence of old-floppy-ears in all the grocery stores that I can collect. The only problem is the bunny’s affinity for eggs… last I check bunnies don’t have much to do with eggs… but maybe the whole egg thing is a resolution to tackle in 2009.
Proving the tooth fairy’s existence will also be easy. I could collect a ton of interviews with children who have received a visit from the quintessential queen of the canines. It’ll be hard to deny once the sheer numbers of those claiming an experience with her majesty are in. I wonder where does she get all that money?… Hopefully not illegal drug sales. I know fairies like to play with “dust”… Well that’s probably another one for 2009.
Stay tuned as I will be posting updates on my progress in proving the existence of mythical creatures.
Are there any other “mythical creatures” you would like to see me prove this year?
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Yes that is my head, where worthless thoughts reside. I'm yelling at you. So yell back. More about the blog can be found on the about page or check out my very first and best worst post.
