Hey Loser With The Hands-free Device In Your Ear
Junk: 05.20.08 
Culture, Observations
An ode to the guy eating and hands-free:
Hey you, with that thing in your ear,
what are you, one of those who are queer*?
The kind of guy who is really distinct
who will one day be extinct.
Yes, your kind will no longer exist
except in the memory of a satirist.
You may think this rather profane
but someday there’ll be an implant in your brain.
Your connected state is obtuse;
that thing in your ear is abuse.
Take it off! You’re not that monumental
if taken as such it’s probably accidental.
So mister antenna ear
you are extensively queer*.
But please I want you to know
that I am quite sincere:
Take it off!
*Used in the traditional sense of the word, of course (adj. - odd; strange). Gees chill out.
2 comments ↓
Your third stanza really nails it. It’s like these people are afraid if they take their ear piece off, it would be terribly inconvenient. Seriously, are you getting called often enough to warrant you wearing it the whole evening? I thought not. Leave the abomination off until one of your imaginary friends actually calls you.
When you are actually taking a call with them they are very useful.
Love the ode. You could subtitle it “Ode to the self-important.”
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