Hey Loser With The Hands-free Device In Your Ear

05.20.08 Culture, Observations 2 comments

An ode to the guy eating and hands-free:

Hey you, with that thing in your ear,
what are you, one of those who are queer*?
The kind of guy who is really distinct
who will one day be extinct.

Yes, your kind will no longer exist
except in the memory of a satirist.
You may think this rather profane
but someday there’ll be an implant in your brain.

Your connected state is obtuse;
that thing in your ear is abuse.
Take it off! You’re not that monumental
if taken as such it’s probably accidental.

So mister antenna ear
you are extensively queer*.
But please I want you to know
that I am quite sincere:

Take it off!

*Used in the traditional sense of the word, of course (adj. - odd; strange). Gees chill out.